Four years ago I was lost in the depths of my own darkness. I couldn't see which way was up or down. For the life of me, I couldn't even begin to describe myself; granted, I had just experienced an all encompassing tragic loss. I was constantly battling with the thought, "who am I, and what am I supposed to be doing with my life". This perplexing thought is something I'm sure many grapple with. Although I now have a much firmer grasp on identifying the powerful women that I am, as my college education is quickly coming to a close and with no definitive plans for my immediate future, I am still wondering, what is it that I am supposed to be doing with my life?
Who really knows what they are doing anyway. This life is a journey, with no precise direction. The key, is to embrace each moment - however confusing, sad, or joyful it might be - with complete awareness and acceptance. In the last four years I have found an identity, I have honed in on my likes and dislikes and I have felt embraced by a community of educated and like-minded individuals. Some of which have become my closest friends. My job, my identity, over the last few years of my life has been to be a successful student; a job that I have done very well. This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions. In just five days I will walk across the stage, in attire unique only to commencement, draped in gold and blue cords signifying my Summa Cum Laude accomplishment. As I shake hands with my superiors, I will also close the door on this great chapter of my life. Subsequently, I will step off the stage, while turning to the next page of my unknown and unexplored future. For anyone who has ever graduated from anything, I’m sure you understand the polarizing pull of positive and negative emotions I am currently experiencing. I am ecstatic to move to the next phase of my life, and every ounce of my being knows that amazing things and limitless opportunities are in store for my future. But with achievement also comes an immense void in losing everything that has defined my day-to-day life in the past four years. I will no longer have a schedule that brings me to campus on a regular basis, or be engulfed in enriching classroom discussions that challenged my mind, nor will I regularly see my peers while passing through the halls. Fear of the unknown is undeniable influencer. But, the most powerful things I could do now is stay present, and embrace each feeling and each moment as its comes. As I step into the day’s ahead of me I will stand tall, with my head held high. This accomplishment is immense and the triumph I have attained deserves mindfulness. The right path and the right job will come to me with the new year.
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AuthorI am a natural writer, who has an innate enthusiasm to let my thoughts be heard. ArchivesCategories |